Because Jensen Ackles Has a Nice Ass
by madeira3188
Summary: Ryan/Seth. "Seth. Do you really think I want to drive you to LA, just so you can ogle Jensen Ackles's ass for a whole weekend?"


**Title:** Because Jensen Ackles Has a Nice Ass  
**Author:** Madeira3188  
**Fandom:** The OC  
**Character/Pairing:** Ryan/Seth  
**Rating:** R  
**Category:** Established relationship. Kind of crackage, but not quite.  
**Authors Notes:** AUish. Because The OC pretty much sucked (and not in the good way) after mid-season two. So, season three and four, and the whole Seth getting married to Summer thing? Yeah. Didn't happen.

* * *

"No, Seth."

"Come on, Ryan, _please_," Seth whined. "You have to go with me."

Ryan rolled his eyes, and went back to reading his Physics textbook. He didn't really see the relevance of learning how to calculate the gravitational potential energy of an orbiting Earth satellite, but some magnanimous prick thought it would be entertaining to torture the likes of him, and placed it in their curriculum. So, here he was, on a Saturday morning, trying to figure out just why the fuck he can't use Epmgh --

"Ryyyyyaaaaaaannnnnnn."

God, his head hurt.

"Ryyyyyaaaaaaannnnnnn."

He really should just go back to bed.

"Ryyyyyaaaaaaannnnnnn."

He counted slowly to ten. "Seth. It's nine o'clock in the morning. Can we please reduce the whining to a few decibels lower than usual?"

Seth plopped down unceremoniously on his lap, knocking back his Physics textbook messily against the floor. "You weren't listening to me," Seth said, as if it was the gravest offence in the universe. He started to trace an invisible line across the expanse of Ryan's neck, slowly, teasingly.

"Seth," Ryan grounded out. He can already see where this was going, and _damn it_, Seth needed to stop playing dirty.

Seth leaned forward, and licked the strip of flesh just beneath Ryan's throat, his lips flicking the bead of sweat already forming on Ryan's skin.

Ryan moaned quietly at the feeling of Seth's tongue. "Seth. This isn't going to work, you know," he said. "I'm still not going."

"But Ryan, you have come with me," Seth said. "You know the Kirsten won't let me go to LA by myself."

"Fuck," Ryan said roughly, as Seth sucked on his already sensitized flesh. "I'm not going to that lame conference." He tilted his neck, trying to give Seth better access. It'll be hard to cover the marks later, he knew, but fuck it, it felt good. And Seth kept on alternating between flicking and suck--

"But Ryyyyaaaaannn. This isn't just any conference. This is the _Supernatural_ conference. We're talking super epic coolness that transcends Comi--. "

Ryan grabbed the back of Seth's head and crushed their lips together, effectively silencing another one of his boyfriend's imminent cataclysmic speech about the wins of a stupid fucking show about two stupid fucking brothers hunting for the superfuckingnatural. God. He knew there was a reason why he never dated nerds before.

Seth pulled away, and pouted. "Ryan..." he started.

"No." Ryan nipped on Seth's bottom lip.

"But why?"

He growled in frustration. "Are you kidding me?" Seth gave him a pleading look. "Seth. Do you really think I want to drive you to LA, just so you can ogle Jensen Ackles's ass for a whole weekend?"

"Whaaa...Jensen...og...ass..._pfft_," Seth spluttered. "You know your ass is the only one I mack on."

Ryan shot him a look of disbelief. "Seth. You spent hours watching Dawson's Creek, just to see him molest that blonde girl."

"I did not! I was watching Dawson's Creek as a resource for my Psych paper on teenage angst and debauchery, and how they were completely related," Seth responded, indignantly.

"Right. So, that's why you watched Dark Angel continuously for two weeks, instead of studying for your English midterm?"

Seth snorted. "Umm, hello. Jessica Alba? Come on, dude, I know I'm mintier than a pack Wrigley's, but even I can appreciate her hotness."

"Four words, Seth. Days. Of. Our. Lives." Ryan punctuated his words by grinding his hips against Seth's jean-cladded erection.

"Oh, God, _Ryan_," Seth panted. "You know I love you, man."

Ryan pulled Seth's shirt over his head, and proceeded to nip at Seth's left nipple. Licking. Biting. Sucking.

"Ohfuckohfuck," Seth slurred. "God, Ry...keep...yes...oh, shit...so...we're...going...con...yessss--"

Ryan stopped. "Are you kidding me?" he asked, once again. "Dude...I'm _licking_ your chest, and you're still coherent enough to ask about the stupid conference?"

Seth looked at him shamefacedly. "Wait, wait. Don't go Chinoshit on me yet." Seth kissed him lightly. "Think about it, Ry. If we go, I get to attend the most epic of all cons..." Ryan was still waiting to see why on earth he would agree to come. "...and you, my friend, get to have your way with me. All. Weekend. Long."

Ryan paused. Hmm. Have his way with Seth? Umm, isn't that kind of what he was trying to do right now, before Seth decided that convincing him to go to LA was better than Ryan's nipple licking?

"...alone. In a hotel room. Without the parents. In a hotel room. Did I mention alone and without the parents? For two days?"

Oh. Well, that did sound pretty good.

He plunged his tongue into Seth's mouth, kissing him hungrily, and pulled back. "Okay."

Seth blinked. "Okay? As in okay? As in we're going?" Seth asked, his voice growing more exuberant by the question.

"Don't make me regret this, Seth."

Seth pumped his fist, and made a sign of thanks to Moses and Baby Jesus. "Thank you, thank you, thank you! I promise I'll let you do bad things to me all weekend," he said, "and I promise you have nothing to worry about, because _ohgodohgodohgodohgod_...Jensen Ackles...can't ever...compare...and _ohgodohgod_..."

"Seth. My hands are down your pants." He squeezed. Hard. "Do you really want to mention Jensen Ackles's name right now?"


End file.
